


It's Detective Valentine, Jackass

by PeacefulPhoenix



Series: Fallout 4: Origins [2]
Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, F/M, Flashbacks, Mistreatment of Synths, Origin Story, Past Relationships, Smoking, The Institute - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-21 05:10:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6039535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeacefulPhoenix/pseuds/PeacefulPhoenix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick Valentine submits to experiments in the CIT to help him get over the loss of his fiancée, Jenny. Instead he finds himself trapped in a synthetic body and his memories of her are more vivid than ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Detective Valentine, Jackass

The first thing he remembered was Jenny. It was all he could think about, honestly. Any time he caught a whiff of her perfume or saw her favorite book or ate somewhere they had once gone on a date it all came back, playing like a scene before his eyes. Forced to relive every beautiful, painful detail. 

_  
“Nicky, are you even listening to me?” Jennifer asked, lighthearted voice betraying her angry expression._

_The steady tap, tap, tap of his fingers stopped as he looked up to meet her eyes. “Of course, doll.” Smoke drifting up and away from the cigarette between his fingers made her face seem foggy, distant._

_Elbows found a home on the table and her chin rested on interlocked fingers as she leaned forward. “Oh yeah, what was I just saying? Smart detective like you should be able to remember right?” That goddamn smirk twisting her perfect, red lips was textbook femme fatale._

_No way he could keep a lie from a face like that. “You were saying how you loved me, even if sometimes my mind wanders.”_

_“Oh is that right?” He nodded and one of her delicate hands found its place on his jaw. “You’re lucky you’re handsome, you know that?”_

_The haze between them was slowly lifting and her eyes pierced through like embers, glowing brown and red and copper. “Wouldn’t have been able to win a girl like you if I weren’t.”_

_Her lips brushed against his as she spoke, sending chills down the detective’s spine. “I’m not a prize to be won, darling. I’m a gift you better be thankful for every day of your life, Valentine.” The kiss they shared then was a gift he would never forget.  
_

Darkness surrounded him, filling his vision as the memory passed, like a movie rolling its credits. It had been so vivid. He could feel her lips on his, smell the smoke in the air, see every detail and yet no amount of effort could summon it back. He was left to face the slowly fading dark. 

Pieces of the scene came together: the tiled ceiling he found himself staring at, the steady whir of machinery, the hushed tones of people somewhere nearby. A light flickered to his right, yellow glow disappearing for a moment to fill the room with shadow only to return moments later. 

The world came into and out of focus several times, losing and regaining color as he tried to sit himself up and swing his legs off the bed. Fog filled his mind, legs nearly forbidding to listen as he commanded them to move. With an involuntary jerk they began to listen.

It wasn’t until Valentine found himself facing the wall and the plaque it bore that he remembered where he was. “CIT,” he mumbled to himself. The promise of freedom from those damn visions and memories had been too strong a pull. The guilt had nearly killed him after he came to the decision. Jenny would have hated him for it. Even now, his mind battled between if the fact it had failed was a good thing or not. 

“Ah, V4-77, you’re awake!” said the chipper voice of some egghead, emerging from the shadows of the room wearing a pristine lab coat and clutching a clipboard.

Instantly his jaw clenched and his fists tugged at the sheets beneath his fingers. “Excuse me?” The voice that came from his lips was rougher, darker than he had expected. Had the doctor not immediately flinched back, the smile dropping instantly from his facade, Valentine might have thought on it more. 

The man straightened, coughing before trying to speak. “V4-77 will be your classification here,” he managed to stutter out. 

“It’s Detective Valentine to you, jackass. I don’t plan on staying long enough to need some ID-number.” The lights flickered several more time as they stared each other down or, more accurately, Nick stared the scientist down. “Just get me whoever’s in charge around here. I got some questions.” He was quick to comply but stopped before he had a chance to leave. “You got a smoke?” 

He didn’t need to be a detective to notice the widened eyes, the rigid posture, the hesitation. What was so horrifying about a cigarette? The man crept forward, holding out the smoke at arm’s length. “Gonna need a light, too,” he mused as it found its new home at his lips. The kid opened the lighter and lit it with a click in one fluid motion. 

_  
Detective and his very own femme fatale stood inches from each other, cigarettes touching as the lighter held between his clicked to life, illuminating both their faces in a warm, orange glow. Save for the flame, shadows filled the room. the dim glow of a streetlight sent lines of light through slanted shades into the room._

_The glow of embers stayed on the tips of their cigarettes even as the lighter went out. Jenny took a long drag and blew the smoke slowly out, right into Nick’s face and if that wasn’t the sexiest thing he’d seen._

_The clicks of her heels filled the room as she pushed him back step-by-step, hand pressing into his chest. “Sit,” she instructed him and he was quick to obey. Her legs found their rightful place on either side of him as she sat in his lap, the skirt of her dress hitching up her legs._

_The light danced through the smoke in the air, creating tangible beams that fell upon the two lovers.  
_

Valentine was stirred once again from his visions. The darkness cleared to reveal a woman wearing some kind of funny coat with black rings around the cuffs and an orange vitruvian man displayed on her chest. Her hands were clasped carefully behind her back, no kind of clipboard in sight. “Would you mind telling me what you just experienced? It’s vital we understand what’s going on in that processor of yours.”

The word choice did not escape him but like many other things today, he let it slid. “I was just remembering Jenny. Seems your little experiment failed, huh doc?”

To his surprise, she shook her head, eyes roaming his face, searching for something. “On the contrary, I think we have made incredible progress.”

No, something was most definitely wrong here. Had he found himself in some sort of trap? Could Eddie Winter’s reach really find him here? “You’ve got some explaining to do,” he growled, mustering up the best of his bad-cop vibes. Time had put a damper on his act but it was the best he could do for the time being.

Her lips curved into a smile and her eyes narrowed. The shadows falling over her face gave her a decidedly evil appearance. “Come stand by me for a moment and everything will be explained.”

The air hung for a moment as each stood their ground. The talking in the background had fallen silent and the hum of machinery filled the air, buzzing, whirring, humming. Valentine had yet to find the source. After several minutes he broke, slowing rising to his feet, battling the ever present fog in his mind. He stood at her side and she swept her arm to her right, towards the wall. Mounted there was a mirror and he felt the world crumble around him.

The face staring back at him wasn’t his own. 

Everything was wrong. Yellow circles of light that had replaced his lights surveyed the reflection. His fingers ran over his now bald head, bumping over seams and bolts. And god, his skin.

_  
Moonlight streamed through the open window, the light breeze carrying it causing the curtains to dance in the air. The only warmth in the room came from the fire, sending spots of orange and red and yellow through the room. The cold arms wrapping themselves around his pudgy stomach from behind were a perfect contrast. “See how beautiful you are?” Jenny purred in his ear, resting her cheek on his shoulder._

_Her dark, wavy hair felt in waves over her shoulders, nearly completely obscuring one of her eyes. She looked like a priceless porcelain doll but he had learned long ago that she wasn’t. She was strong, smart, independent. Her pale, perfect skin had always seemed out of place against his much darker body. Years of abuse that came standard with his job showed on his arms and chest and shivers ran down his spine as her light fingers traced some._

_Never before had he seen it. A girl like her wasn’t supposed to be with a man like him but how she looked wrapped around him was perfect. How could anyone say this was wrong? “Yeah I do.”  
_

“You made me white.” Her eyes seemed to twinkle which brought a scowl to his own face. “What? You find this funny?”

A nod. “Indeed, I do. We have achieved amazing things with you, V4. We took the mind of a human and put it in a synthetic body. So well, in fact, that you didn’t even know until I showed you. Your memories remain intact and it appears you have cognitive functions. By all means, you are our biggest success. And despite all this, you’re upset because the false skin on your robotic body is white, instead of black, like that of Nick Valentine.”

Each time she mentioned his new form it was like a wave crashed over him. Everything in him told him to just look away. Perhaps then he could deny it. Instead he searched his face, looking for anything human left. All he found were cold, yellow eyes staring back at him. “My name isn’t V4, it’s Nick Valentine,” he said, not quite able to get the conviction he needed into the delivery of the line. 

“The real Nick Valentine died many years ago. From the moment that you were turned on for the first time, you have been our experiment - our creation. I expect you to fully co-operate.”

Nick managed to pull his eyes from the mirror to fix her with a hardened stare, directly into her eyes. She returned the stare, eyes as emotionless as if she were the robot herself. “And if I don’t?”

Without missing a beat, she answered. “We will be forced to deactivate you and load your consciousness into a new body to start again.” In short, they would kill him. Did they even see it as murder? Could he? 

Murder. Forced Labor. Creating more people just to do a job. “Sounds a lot like slavery.”

“Slavery is the owning of humans. You are not a human, V4.” Without a word or goodbye she turned and walked away. Valentine continued to stare at the space she had occupied. The door opened with a hiss of air then closed moments later with a click. 

“That’s what they said about black people too,” he muttered to himself. 

\-----------------------

Several things became painfully clear to Nick over the following weeks.

First off, he had no way of knowing it had been several weeks. There were no windows and all signs seemed to point that they were underground. The hallways were too narrow, there were too many levels - and a new one was at this moment under construction, a new lowest floor - and it was far too dark. Dim yellow lights provided enough for the humans to see but blackness seemed to be only steps away at all time. 

Second, his body was not human. It didn’t call for food, water, or sleep. It was also missing certain… equipment. His mind, on the other hand, called for all these things. The scientists had been baffled when he refused to work until they gave him “a god damn moment to catch some sleep before you run more tests on me!” After nearly snapping one of the younger, frailer lab techs in half they had allowed him that, as well as other human needs like food and drink. They even kept him stocked with a pack of smokes. Much to the dismay of whatever in him left that was human, there had been no resolution to the lack of proper equipment, nor would there be.

Lastly, he learned he was alone. Every day he saw his face - his new face - staring back at him blankly. They were robots. Every action they did came from a program written by some team in this damn place. Each task they were assigned was done mindlessly. He was the only human trapped in one of their bodies and his clothes marked him as such. The robots wore plain white outfits while he had been forced to don a long back jacket. It was no trenchcoat but it was something. 

Nick was put through constant tests which provided his certain insights into this new situation. The intelligence and problem-solving tests were the easiest. His entire adult life up until this point had been spent doing detective work so the answers were obvious to him 9/10 times. 

He overheard the testers discussing the results one time when they believed he was out of earshot. It was hard to make out at first, the voices getting lost in the steady hums and buzz of his electronics. A moment of effort brought them into focus.

“There should be a notable difference here but so far, nothing. His answers are nearly exactly the same!”

“Did you compare to the earlier models?”

“Yeah! That’s the thing. All 5 tests are the same! Didn’t we make some changes to the code this time?”

“You know the robotics team; always promising more than they can actually deliver on.”

“They’ve had four tries already! When is she going to do something about it?”

“Word is SRB is really pushing for this. Calling it project Courser or something dumb like that. They say it’s going to change the world but V4 isn’t any more advanced than a human!”

“We’ll just have to keep working.”

There was so much there Valentine couldn’t understand. Snapping back to reality, the conversation was filed away for review later when he had the time. It seems a robotic brain came with certain perks, most notably the added eidetic memory. 

All he knew for sure was whatever it was this wasn’t good.

He kept his head down as they re-entered, peering up only to observe their reactions and only when they weren’t looking at him. It was hard in the low-lighting but the artificial glow in his eyes gave him the upper hand. He found both their faces flat, expressionless. If they knew he had heard they sure weren’t letting onto that fact. 

His eyes remained trained on them for most of the next hour as he put him through a test. It was a simple shooting test and he figured he didn’t need much attention for that. The lights had been completely shut out now and Valentine was minutely aware of the glow his eyes were giving off. It would be far too easy to be seen like this in true combat but it let him shoot each target. His precision wasn’t all there but he had at least hit. 

The lab guys actually looked impressed and he took a small pleasure in that. It was short-lived, however, as they noted it, muttering, “Good job, synth,” before disappearing into a locked room. Two of the brainless Gen-2s, as he had learned they were called, came to escort him to his quarters. He didn’t object.

The time alone in his locked room gave him time to think. His cigarette burned low, totally forgotten between his fingers as he thought. There had been others before him. 4 or 5 of them. He hadn’t seen them around so something had gone wrong. Had they malfunctioned or had they been eliminated. It wasn’t unreasonable to assume the latter as he’d been threatened with just that his first day in this new body. And as the scientists had said, his tests results were fairly average so far. Either he had to get a lot better or find a way out before it was too late. 

It wasn’t until his pain receptors went off, sending shocks through his wires that he registered the cigarette was now burning his synthetic flesh. And oh god, here we go again. 

_  
“You’ll burn the house down, Nick!” Jenny exclaimed as Nick growled in pain and dropped the cigarette to the carpet. He stamped it out before anything caught then laid back in the bed with a heavy sigh. “Give me your hand,” she said, using her most authoritative voice. He looked to tired to resist, free hand rubbing deep circles into his temples._

_She tutted at the small burns there and dipped a bit of cloth into the water on the bedside table. The cool water felt like magic against the red skin. “You have to be more careful.” He didn’t answer and it was her turn to sigh. “What are you thinking about this time? One of your cases right?”_

_It was the only case that mattered. “Eddie Winter.”_

_“Again?” she groaned, rewetting the cloth. “I know he’s a bad guy and deserves to rot in only the worst prisons but this is ruining you, Nicky. I hate to see you like this.” Her hand caught his chin and pulled his face toward hers. He refused to meet her eyes for several seconds before giving in. “Promise me you won’t let it consume you. Promise me that you won’t let this kill you.”_

_His throat was dry, his heart heavy. He hadn’t told her about all the threats he’d received; hadn’t told her how many were also threats for her. Everything about her was beautiful and pure: her heart, her eyes, her hair, her love. He wouldn’t ruin that by telling her he couldn’t do as she asked. There was no guarantee he was getting out of this but he would make sure she would. He couldn’t live with himself if something happened to her. “I promise.”  
_

Lies. All lies. He had gotten her killed while he was forced to live on. The nuclear apocalypse had come and yet here he was still. And Jenny was still dead. If this was the work of some God he wasn’t sure what he’d done to earn this. 

He’d learned to see the memories coming. His processors seemed to fizzle the moment his action triggered a memory and roughly 2 seconds later the whole scene would play before him. But it wasn’t just as though he was an observer. He could feel everything, he had all the same thoughts, he was there. 

It was perhaps an hour before he recovered this time. And when he did he was rejuvenated by the memory. He couldn’t let himself die here. He had to live. For her. Someone had to remember her and he was the only man left who could do the job.

The room was simple. A simple cot paired with a simple side table and simple desk with nothing on it but paper, pens, a change of clothes, and his cigarettes and food. It had gone untouched. The only thing interesting or useful in there was the terminal besides the locked door. 

This was hardly his first night time excursion into the halls of the Institute and it took him mere minutes to unlock the door. The passwords were changed often but it was never too difficult to puzzle out. The door opened with a hiss of air. Freedom. 

Now came the difficult part.

The automated security was easy enough to sneak by. It ran on a schedule. Figure out the pattern and you were home free. It was the humans he needed to remain wary of. His black coat helped him blend into the dark corners he kept to but the eyes were a dead giveaway. As such he kept his eyes low and moved fast. 

He got to the upper levels quickly. There must be a way to the surface somehow. The facility seemed self-sufficient but they had gotten down here which meant there must be a way up. His surveillance found him nothing. There was no way out. At least not tonight. 

\--------------

Everything was fine until now. Sure he would probably die any day now. And sure, the scientist were letting him have less and less time for sleep and food. They were stripping him of his humanity one step at a time. Emotions were met with punishment and after several weeks worth of chastising they had finally taken away his cigarettes. Apparently it gummed up the mechanics in his head. He could take the shaking that came with that. 

But what he couldn’t take was murder.

_  
No. This couldn’t be happening. Somewhere in the back of his mind he was aware of the dull pain as his knees hit the cobbled streets but all he could focus on was the image swimming before his eyes._

_It was so red._

_The red pool grew slowly, falling into and running along cracks in the street and running over the stones when those filled. Jenny’s eyes found his as she took gasping breaths. Her lips moved as if to speak but no words came forward. Nick couldn’t react. His arms felt heavy and his mind even more so._

_Her fingers reached out for his and he took them. Both their hands shook until the light faded from her eyes and the last rattle of a breath left her lips. He held the empty gaze for who knew how long._

_This couldn’t be happening. Not to her. Not here. “Jenny…”  
_

“I won’t do it,” he growled in a voice that made even the guy in charge shutter just a bit. The glow in his eyes seemed to brighten as he stared each one of them down. “I don’t care what you do to me. He’s a human being and I won’t play God with his life!”

The man in question was crouched on the floor, shaking. Sweat shown on his face causing it to glisten slightly in the harsh lights. Eyes wide with panic he tried to catch the gaze of the scientists. When he failed to find pity in them his eyes fell to Nick. It wasn’t long before he looked away in fear. It wasn’t the most compassionate mug they could have given him. 

The guy in charge stood his ground, hands and clipboard clasped behind his back. “This is your final test, V4. We have been most lenient with you already. Fail to do this and it will end. We’ll be forced to scrap you. I know synths can’t comprehend death but I’m sure there must be some form of self-preservation protocols in your software.”

Nick leveled his gun with his head. He didn’t flinch, instead meeting the glowing yellow eyes without fear. “For the last time, it’s Detective Valentine, jackass!” Before Nick had a chance to pull the trigger his world went black as his processors shut off. 

\--------------

As Nick awoke in a pile of trash in the middle of nowhere the first thing he remembered was Jenny. It was all he could think about, honestly. Any time he caught a whiff of her perfume or saw her favorite book or ate somewhere they had once gone on a date it all came back, playing like a scene before his eyes. Forced to relive every beautiful, painful detail.

**Author's Note:**

> I had a really good time writing a Hancock origin story (The Rise of Mayor Hancock) so I decided to write one for Nick. This is kinda a collection of different headcanons I've seen on tumblr from a black Nick Valentine to the idea that he was the first attempt at a courser.  
> I live for comments and kudos so if you liked it please consider leaving some :)


End file.
